Random cat stories

[rivkat]

There's really no excuse for this, other than that a friend told me the other day that he regarded posts about other people's cats as graphic elements between texts he wanted to read. Possibly the best zinger I've ever gotten off against misterrivkat involved our cat, Miss Kitty (aka the Bunny). When she's mad/ignoring you/not hungry, she often stalks away, her tail in the air, showing you her bottom. misterrivkat, bringing one such instance of that behavior to my attention, asked, "Why do you think she does that?"

Me: "Isn't that an end in itself?"

[/rimshot]

But he got me back the other day when she was up on the edge of the tub, looking down at the still-wet-from-the-shower porcelain. I expressed mystification as to what she was doing there. He suggested that she was fishing. I protested that she was unlikely to find any fish in the damp tub. He said, "You clearly don't get the point of fishing."

Of course, he's composed songs about her, my favorite of which is "Hard to be Soft," a country ballad (in tribute to her origins in Texas):

Oh, I was born without sight
On a cold Texas night
In the shadows of a cold Texas street
As I grew by the year
I knew sorrow and fear
But I seldom knew when I would eat.

Now I work as a kitty
For some folks from the city
And they pet me and hold me aloft
But though I have fun
There's a job to be done
Which is why it is hard to be soft.

Oh it's hard (yes it's hard) so hard
That is why it is hard to be soft.

Now that we live in the suburbs, he doesn't like to sing it -- though I say we're still from the city -- and has composed "Bunnifer Jones," which has some good lines but lacks the unitary glory of "Hard to be Soft."

Comments

[pun.livejournal.com]

That is an excellent cat ballad. In fact, it's so good it makes me envious. None of mine even come close.

[soigneusement.livejournal.com]

rivkat + mrrivkat + bunny = sidesplitting humor

it was great to see you this past weekend. sorry i collapsed so early. maybe the whisky was a bad idea.

[teenygozer.livejournal.com]

Holy frelling crap, that is the BESTEST SONG EVER! I have four ex-strays it would work perfectly for, if you substitute "Ev'rett" for "Texas" (they're Everett, Massachusetts cats, probably nowhere near as tough as Texas cats, but they think they are and have a chip on their shoulders about it.)

Very talented songwriter, is misterrivcat!

Also? Excellent pun, re: the rimshot joke.

[vivwiley.livejournal.com]

Oh, thank you so much for sharing these stories and song. Very excellent. I think I was on the receiving end ::rolls eyes:: of Miss Kitty's "I'm ignoring you" stroll.

[tir.livejournal.com]

That song is absolutely priceless. I'm glad you shared.